So yes, I have determined a lot about the OM. He is in the same profession as my wife, and vey active in the union as well. They are both active on twitter where they first met. I have found out more details about him, believe he is divorced, but not sure. Think he has two kids that don't live with him.
I'll try to answer your questions here, and thanks again for the advice, it is much appreciated.
Neither of us has been involved with anyone else during our relationship.
I like the advice to approach her as a neighbour. This change of tact would be the hardest to implement, but I see the benefit.
I was confused if I should be doing LRT, so that helps as well
I have sought legal advice, and been advised to keep things status quo for now. I have the kids with me. And once a financial burden is created, I will have to pay spousal most likely.
With respect to family and protecting her from affair, yes, I probably have been, but I will no longer.
My coach hasn't offered an opinion on including her in counselling, but I would agree with you, it's not going to be effective at this time. My wife wants to maintain counselling to work on our relationship going forward and our communication. We aren't working on reconciliation. Especially at this point.
I will try to implement your suggestions, and keep you posted. Yesterday was a bad day for me with a bit of backsliding. We were having a relationship conversation that was initiated by her. I like to avoid those at this time.
Thanks so much for your help and advice. These forums have tons of great info and support. Life saving!
