H moving out tomorrow

[TL72*]

Hi T-boned - thanks for your post. After reading so many posts it is weird that all these husbands act so much alike. I realize that it's pointless to think of "what ifs" and how this all happened but that doesn't stop me from thinking it anyway. Especially after reading so many similar stories. Some of them have happy endings and I so want to be one of them but I know it will take like another few years if it even happens then. It is discouraging but then reading some from the beginning who are now in reconciliation also gives me hope. Day by day. We had bad weather Monday so he cancelled meeting me to make the exchange of goods - which was understandable - that told me that he isn't living in this town or it would have been on his way to his new home. I never asked nor do I really need to know that info anyway. I got the change of address thing in the mail from the USPS which was sort of disheartening but I knew that was coming.
Still making small changes with the house and enjoying my quiet alone times after work. I am having to do all the chores myself but I was pretty much already doing that and now I don't have to make some big dinner. Cooking for 1 is a bit weird to get used to. Supposed to meet him tonight after work to exchange goods, i'm not going to remind him, hopefully he remembers. If not, oh well I need to go to the store anyway.
On the appraisal - thanks for that info, I wasn't sure if that would cause it to be appraised lower, I had read somewhere that it could affect it. I don't know why it was 10k but in the schedule that he gave me it was rolled in but the new loan amount would be 150k when I only owe 140k on it now. That's where I got that number from, seemed so lame just to remove someone's name from the darn loan that I will have to pay that much. We only had this house 5 years in May. I'm going to shop around rates and options and let him compete for my business. If that's what I have to do then so be it. Not the end of the world. Yeah it only lowered the payment like 10 dollars, I was hoping that I could lower it a lot more than that. I had a 4.25% when I bought it. Times like these make me angry at him for putting me through all this and then I think, no, he's not well and I'll get through it just fine on my own without added anger and bitterness. Really trying to stay positive. Not easy. I have a list of counselors to choose from but haven't chosen one yet or made the call. I don't know why it frightens me to do that. I guess I just have to make that leap and do it and if I don't like her I can choose another one. I'd like one that understands MLC and doesn't think i'm crazy - most people don't get it unless they're on these boards or going through it.