The race go-kart thing is very cool. I did it with my boys. A lot of fun.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Emailed Smokey this morning: I would accept a $700 house payment monthly as child support. We could negotiate the time and other terms.
Smokey: No that would be spousal support. Four years then you would have to get financing in your name. All the equity would be yours if you leave my retirement alone. Child support of five hundred a month until she is 18.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Please! Stop negotiating with him until you get SOLID advice from an attorney!!!!
1) Child support should be by your state's formula.
2) Spousal support should be paid directly to YOU, not to a bill like the mortgage - you don't want to go into foreclosure because he's late paying. And ideally it should be automatic deposit, so you don't have to wait around for him to write you a check every month.
3) You need an attorney's advice on what is likely to be an amount of spousal support that a judge in your state would award.
4) You need a professional evaluation of the value of his pension before you agree to trade the (nonexistent?) house equity for it.
5) You need to know the current market value of your home and the current balance on your mortgage. (You also need to know the cost of expected repairs - for instance, will it need a new roof in a couple of years? Are there repairs that would need to be made before you could put it on the market? Have you even decided whether it is a better deal to rent or keep the house right now?)
STOP going off half-cocked, sit down and write out everything you know about these issues. We can give you some help, but you still need an attorney to help you with what are reasonable expectations in your state.
6) You need to file an order for temporary support ASAP!!!!!!!! We've been telling you this for months!
Why are you trying to negotiate with your H? Deep down inside are you hoping that he will see how reasonable you are and want to come back? If not, then what is your reason for trying to broker a deal that may not be in YOUR best interest? FTR, I get trying to save money on attny fees - I do - however, at what cost.
KML is spot on. Please read what she has posted.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I've spoken with three attorneys. I have a good idea about what I'm due.
Just picked up my Jeep!! Yay!! $233. I can live with this.
H's suggestion was to have his dad draw up dissolution papers. I am cool with this as long as we agree to terms and I have one of the attorneys I trust look everything over and add things here and there.
It's not looking like this FIL drawing up papers thing is going to work out though. I was feeling out H to see what he is willing to agree to. Apparently, we will need attorneys because he is crazy if he thinks I'm going to go for $500 in child support and no retirement.
I'm not half-cocked. I'm broke. There's a difference.
This was my last effort to bypass the temporary support.
This is where the virual world lacks. We don't know each other in the real world and there's some truth lost between the lines.
But, I do appreciate everyone's concern. I simply don't have the money to pay an attorney right now. So, this means months of waiting in limbo. I was trying like hell to avoid more of the unknowing, uncertainty with support. If I can get him to nail down just the child support, I have a place to start. But, it looks like that is a pipe dream. So, I will need an attorney and probably the one that cost the most because he doesn't want to share his retirement. I need about $2500.
But, I'm not stupid, I may be broke, but I absolutely get what's at stake here. I just need the funds. I was stupid a year ago when I trusted Smokey was going to counseling and doing all the shid he said he was going to do. I'm not stupid now.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Sounds like you have it all under control. That's good.
As for attny's, some of the standards in your state can probably be secured on line. In terms of temporary orders (I think called pendi lite), you may be able to file a motion yourself just to get something in place.
It would provide you with an income stream and most courts have a mediator involves, who will look at the needs of both of you and make a recomendation. It might be something worth exploring.
Did I hear you say....JEEP?
What kind?
I have a wrangler and I am BIG JEEP lover...so I was just wondering.
Peace Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Mine has 200,000 miles on it. Anyone familiar with my thread knows I've been wishing for a new car. Wellllll...my dad and I used to work on cars together. Probably the best memories I have with my dad revolve around working on cars, participating in car rallys, going to swap meets.
Lately, I've been thinking about putting bits of money into my Jeep here and there. Maybe save up for an engine rebuild, a paint job. I've been pricing it and it would come out to about the same as a new car. I could piecemeal it and make it something unique. I think I would paint it orange with a black racing stripe and fog lights.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
No word from Smokey. Something tells me he is overwhelmed by all of this. I know, I need an attorney. I will discuss this with my mom and sister over the break. $2500.
Picked up the car. It's home and it starts!!!
Paid the Bookkeeper the remainder of what I owe her for February and a few dollars more for the groceries she sent over.
I still have the money for the trip in the bank, with the exception of the $100 I put in my wallet.
I spent $113 on groceries. It was more than I wanted to spend but we needed cat food, cat litter and that's pricey. I also spoke to a neighbor about the chicken coop. They may buy it. That would be awesome.
Had a nice conversation with D19. She is stressed and I just listened and validated. We laughed and she felt better when we hung up. She's a good kid. She's trying hard.
Had the difficult student today. I'm seeing some real progress with him already. The family purchased a puppy spur of the moment. I think is a case where the parents need more work than the kid. Seriously? I had discussed the possibility of a puppy with the mom and she told me that we could establish it as a reward after some months of work and research into dog breeds. No research. No reward. Reward BEFORE the work. Swell. Puppy was so stressed with its first day with this boy, it was throwing up and they had to take it to the vet. Vet said stress.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
