Please! Stop negotiating with him until you get SOLID advice from an attorney!!!!
1) Child support should be by your state's formula.
2) Spousal support should be paid directly to YOU, not to a bill like the mortgage - you don't want to go into foreclosure because he's late paying. And ideally it should be automatic deposit, so you don't have to wait around for him to write you a check every month.
3) You need an attorney's advice on what is likely to be an amount of spousal support that a judge in your state would award.
4) You need a professional evaluation of the value of his pension before you agree to trade the (nonexistent?) house equity for it.
5) You need to know the current market value of your home and the current balance on your mortgage. (You also need to know the cost of expected repairs - for instance, will it need a new roof in a couple of years? Are there repairs that would need to be made before you could put it on the market? Have you even decided whether it is a better deal to rent or keep the house right now?)
STOP going off half-cocked, sit down and write out everything you know about these issues. We can give you some help, but you still need an attorney to help you with what are reasonable expectations in your state.
6) You need to file an order for temporary support ASAP!!!!!!!! We've been telling you this for months!
