I am so rubbish at this detaching stuff.. I understand it, I know what to do, mentally I tell myself and then emotionally.. nope not working..
I spend way too much time in my mind making up scenarios about what is happening or why. Then I can make myself happy or miserable depending on the thoughts I have created. I know it is wrong and makes no sense, that it is not helping me in any way but thoughts are hard to stop.. even running I can still think.
I think I understand he wants this separation. I understand he is seeing someone else but I don't think I believe it.. does that make sense..
It is difficult because I see him so rarely.. once every 3 weeks or 4. Too much to forget him but not enough to make sure I understand he means what he says. He seems so much like he always was lately.. calmer, more friendly, willing to discuss..it is hard to remind myself of the reality, especially when I so badly do not want it to be that way.
I keep texts to a minimum and emails. I used to tell about some of the things I was doing but have stopped that.. He works long hours and often is away on business trips so it is difficult to find a night to speak on the phone although he said he would. He commented on how much I am out.. which is true but generally it is slushing through mud trying to keep up with the fast runners.
so this lack of contact allows me the time to make up things..like he is changing his mind.. then when he obviously hasn't then I am devasted... all the while knowing I did thiz to myself... I am trying hard to stop thinking about him, keep busy and yet..it does not work so well
How have other people managed to detach...and stay that way...
