own buz 23:mediation to reconcilliation, PATIENCE!

[courageouswife]

Hi mm

I don't think I have posted to you before but your thread caught my eye last night so read through it.

It looks like your H has only been at this for about a year? Correct me if I am wrong. I can tell you that my H was gone a little over a year. He filed for a D but did not follow through. He asked to come home and was home for almost 3 years and left again in January. In hindsight, I can see that he was not done with his MLC...was still in replay and more importantly, "I" was not ready for him to be home! I thought I was, but those "changes" I thought I was making did not last once he was home. We both fell back into our old patterns/routines and he is gone again!

From what you have posted and others have posted to you, it sounds like neither you or your H are quite ready for an a reconciliation.

He may be slowly working toward it but if OW is still around, then he is not out of replay so it really is best for you to keep working on you, GAL, go about your life as you were and let things fall into place. Sounds like you work with him so you have to see him. Be friendly but don't pursue him. The one thing that you need to do is to be CONSISTANT in your actions. It sounds like you are all over the place...one minute flirting with him and the going dark on him.

today, I lingered a bit after work. got nothing

Why?