Maybe I'm still naïve, being very early on in this whole timeline, but I think you're offering a false choice. It doesn't have to be either/or, it can be both. Eventually it probably has to be either/or, but I think you can have a combination statement for a long time, long enough for you to be sure that you are making a rational, emotionless statement.
But let me edit the combined, single choice:
Quote:
1) I'm going to make the best choice for me. And that does not include h in my life anymore.H will not prevent me from making the best choices for me. I will finally be 100% my own person, answer only to myself, make decisions that best suit me. I won't care if h works all the time and wastes his money and ignores his kids. Those are his decisions and have nothing to do with me. I'll be liberated and he can suck it.
I am going to be long suffering and patient because that is absolutely what I would want h to do for me. That is what is best for my family and I have more to gain than to lose. I like myself better exercising what I define as unconditional love. For h & for my family.
If you are doing what's best for you, why would you consider yourself to be suffering? And don't this because of what you would want someone else to do. Do it because you believe it's the right thing to do. And if you don't believe it's the right thing, then either figure out why you don't believe that, or just don't do it.
Again, this is kind of where I sit these days. I'm at peace with it. I'm doing what I want to do with my life, while at the same time supporting the possibility of R the best way I can, with no expectations, preparing for either outcome. And right now, this approach give me full access to my kids, and maintains everyone's standard of living.
In summary, I guess I'd say - why force a bad decision earlier than you have to, knowing that time has a lot to do with any positive outcome?
