I'll catch up a little before I respond, because I think my catching up may give LTH a little better perspective on what I'm dealing with. Things have been going well, up until about two weeks ago.
Flashback: W is a very fast and aggressive driver, and pulled in front of someone while she was visiting her mom down south this past summer. Unfortunately, an ambulance chaser is now suing her. It's ridiculous, but you know how insurance companies will settle. To add to that, shortly after, XH1 sued her asking for full custody - although, what he really wants is to pay less child support, even though he makes > $150k/year, and W makes < $30k.
Now, recall that W's spending has put me in pretty bad shape financially. However, when W got the paperwork about being sued for full custody, she immediately called me and DEMANDED I get a second loan or apply for a credit card. I reminded her my credit was in pretty bad shape, but I would help her out in any way I could. I hugged her, and held her, and told her to turn her thoughts of worry into prayers, and that it would be OK.
That very day, I called an attorney, scanned in all her paperwork, called my credit card company about an advance, and filed our taxes to try to get our refund back sooner. W went home and slept from 10:00am to 5:00pm while I was doing this. She woke up, and when she found out I didn't have money in hand to give her, she was livid. She immediately accused me of not caring about them, and said that I only cared about my "own kids", and that if it was my kids, I'd have $1,000 in cash ready to go. I simply responded with the actions I had taken, and reminded her that the first hearing was 3 weeks away, and even that hearing would be to schedule more hearings weeks or months away, so we should speak with a lawyer. I told her when I got paid the next week, I could pay for at least a legal consultation at $225/hr.
She refused this explanation, insisting that I "should just have money". She then said she was going to file dissolution so she could get legal aid for the poor, and she prepared the paperwork. At this point, I simply said I felt it was not the right choice, but I would not stand in her way. I signed her paperwork, and she filed it. I asked her to reconsider, and she said since I wouldn't give her cash, then she had no other choice ~ no matter, that I had no cash to give. When we went to the courthouse to sign and her to file, she told them how great it was, and how excited she was to get it over with. She walked out of the courthouse, and immediately changed her name on Facebook (a concerned friend asked me if everything was ok since she took off her married name).
So, that's where we are, lovethehub. This is the story of our marriage; she makes rage-filled, irrational choices, no matter how calm and supportive I am.
I hope this scenario explains better what I'm up against! 27 days until dissolution/divorce is finalized.
