I left the whole conversation thinking, "This is ridiculous, how did we ever get here". I don't want to interact with her like this anymore.
Last night, she called and asked for my banks routing numbers. I am not sure why, since she has all my account info and I send her multiple checks every month. I gave her the numbers and when I was done, there was this strange silence. I decided to take the first step and said:
"I miss talking to you. How are you doing?"
She gave me a pretty generic answer (like when I ask my daughters how school went), and we made a little small talk. It was very strange. Here I was talking to someone I had such a close and intimate relationship with, and it was like talking to a stranger.
I decided to act "As if" this was a good friend, and I started opening up about my life. I told her what a struggle it was raising 3 kids as a single parent. I talked about the loneliness of being single and my reservations with dating. I shared my timeline for finding someone new, my concerns about balancing my christian values with dating, how much I liked living with my dad, and the financial difficulties of living post-divorce. I told her how much her mom misses her and how much it would mean to her if she could make an effort at healing that relationship.
I talked to her like she was a friend and not an ex wife. We talked for 45 minutes with no fighting, no criticism of my parenting, no criticism of her affairs. I glanced at the clock and it was 12:30. I told her I had to go and wished her a good night.
