But when we're talking about the kids, finances for the future (we're trying to do D amicably) don't I still get to negotiate and argue for myself at that point?
Yes, absolutely. But treat it like a business transaction. You're negotiating terms. Don't let your emotions get in the way. My W and I had a very amicable D going. I told a friend and she said to me "don't believe it until you've got the signed papers in your hand." I said "oh you don't know W, she's not like that!" She said "I can't wait to say 'I told you so'". Well guess what, she was right. My W reneged on the original decree that we had both sat down, negotiated and agreed to and came back wanting a LOT more money with no explanation given. So I'm glad things are going smooth for you, but be ready for the other shoe to drop!
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Like, when we set up the parenting plan I want to tell her that I want to stick to the plan and she can't come over on the days that aren't hers.
Yes, those are reasonable boundaries to set in place.
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I don't know what she expects at this point, but I think she believes we're going to remain good friends after this is over. I just don't want to do that, it would feel fake to me to be friends with her at that point.
I was just reading an article by a psychologist talking about how difficult it is to be friends after a serious R. All WAS's say that at some point, but it doesn't happen very often. My wife said it early on too, but she's clearly done a 180 on that since then!
