I guess I don't really feel like I have the ability to interject too much fantasy at the moment. I am trying to keep things with her pretty light and non-threatening/pressuring. Our get togethers mostly consist of getting a meal or coffee and if we meet at the house, we will watch a movie or some episodes of TV series that used to watch together. We have also gone hiking once and rock climbing once - which is great but these are things we would have done a lot more under better circumstances.
Keep in mind that she still approaches and then pulls back. She will go dark for a day or two and then call or want to meet up. We'll get along great and talk every day for a while, maybe meet up a couple of times and then out of nowhere, she'll say she doesnt want to work on it anymore. Then a day later, shes sad and crying but still wants to get divorced. Then a day later, she wants to think about things some more and then a day or so later, we start hanging out again.
A good example of this type of dynamic is this: 2/13 we went out for dinner and had a really amazing time. It could have been one of our best nights even during the good times. That was the start of a bunch of good interactions that I mentioned above. About a week after that, she asked me how I felt about how things were going. I told her that I thought they were going well but that we still needed to take it slow. That I didn't feel like I was ready to jump back into anything and while I loved her, there were still a lot of feelings that I had to get back. She agreed and said that we shouldn't pressure ourselves to have those feelings back right away and that she was happy with how things were going as well. Then a week later, she says her feelings arent what they used to be and that she wants to proceed. All through this period, I am not being overly pressuring. I text her first sometimes, she texts me first sometimes. I havent initiated an R-talk or asked about the OM since sometime in January. About the only thing I have probably pressured on is to do more things on the weekend together - specifically hiking.
That being said, I do believe that the OM is at least out of the immediate picture. Her friends know that she has been spending time with me, she told him that she was spending time with me, etc. So for now, I want to be content with that and not push her back in that direction.
So - after all that longwindedness - Any advice on how I can add a little fantasy without pressure?
Whatever has been happening at least seems to be having some effect. I still don't know if i should be darker or less available though.....
Me:38 W:39 No Children BD: 5/13 EA/PA Confirmed: 7/13 W Moved out 12/13
