I believe Melissa should address his lack of empathy with him but how that's approached is key to getting what she seeks, which I think is for him to hear her. It's a matter of doing it from a place of empathy and compassion or a place of blame and shame.
How can this be accomplished with the proper finesse? Other than saying "H, you suck big time at this! You dolt..on and on" Why continue trying to hit at the very same brick wall hoping for some change? It seems to me from reading M's posts in her threads, H isn't the cuddly fuzzball she'd like for him to be. It appears that H minimizes M's feelings and by extension, his kids too. Then what is M left with? I believe M could very well do it from a place of compassion BUT how will H react in response to her ah so gentle suggestions? That is the conundrum right there. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
