artsy, I'm going to keep an eye on this and see what you find out/what responses you get. I'm having that same trouble... I want H to go "fix" himself but know it's not my place to facilitate or encourage it. I mentioned counseling at the beginning when we had a long R conversation in the context of how talking to a neutral third party may be helpful, and let him know where our insurance covers it and that the coinsurance is very cheap. In fact, MIL and SIL have both contacted me concerned and wishing H would go to counseling or get help to "figure out where the unhappiness is inside him, instead of thinking it's the relationship" (SIL's words!) but we've acknowledged that you can't make a horse drink (or whatever analogy you'd like to use in this situation).
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final