I have more work to do... I want to be open to growth in myself and h and wouldn't want a relationship with the old h anyways. So why does hearing his progress make me feel so rejected? This is a me problem I need help understanding.
It's a quandary.
I remember feeling the same way about some of the things H was doing that he wouldn't or didn't do when we were together. I eventually realized I should be happy about it as it was a sign of growth in him. It seems you're getting to that place.
About fooling yourself, I think I understand. I turned the "staying M but still S" time into my personal growth space. I knew I wasn't ready for another R, I still had work to do within me, I knew another man might give me a temporary EGO-boost but I wan't ready for the work involved in having a real R. I was selfish. Staying M was a buffer.
Is staying married a problem for you or are you concerned about how other people might view you?
You're doing the work, sometimes it's just slow. ((( )))
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
