melissa

[labug]

Your H didn't handle the dying fish well. He made a bad choice, he may not be a bad person.

I asked some questions about 3 threads back that never got answered so I'll try again:

You've said many times that your H didn't have a good role model growing up. Not an excuse, just an explanation. Without seeing the need to change, none of us would, we continue to walk around doing as we were programmed.

2. All parents parent differently (I know that's not a news flash). We each bring our weaknesses as well as our strengths. Your H had enough good qualities that you were attracted to him, married him, had babies with him. What are the good qualities he brings to parenting? What are your parenting strengths? Weaknesses? (be brutally hones and you don't have to do this here. this is for you)

3. When you got in that fight at Disneyland, how did it start? Do you remember what you said? (I'm asking what you said cause it doesn't matter what he said, he's not here. you didn't like his behavior so I'm guessing you spoke first)

Knowing what you know now, how would have handled that differently, leading with love and keeping the R in front of your mind?

Your kids probably could benefit from therapy but then, I think everyone needs therapy.

About birthdays :), it's not my strong suit. I have a very difficult time remembering dates. If you tell me your birthday is coming up and you want me to celebrate your birth, I'm there but don't expect me to remember the date year-to-year. And no, I don't put them in my calendar to remind me. I used to get H's wrong (and this was when I was younger) I thought it was the 4 th, it's the 5th. He had to give me a way to remember it. My mom's is Mar 15th. I always thought it was the 17th. At least I was within the margin of error

Not remembering the actual birth date doesn't mean I don't love these people.

I do remember my kids' days but I was there.