Hey artsty. Don't have any specific advice as I am still just making this up as I go along. It sounds like you handled things well. You acknowledged what he said bit didn't let the sitch devolve so you accomplished your goal for your daughter.

Have you talked to her pediatrician or any therapists or school counselors on best ways to explain things to her? I have a few people on my s team helping me with this process.

Me 44 H 42
M 10 T 12 (at time of BD)
Ss 20 16
S11 (special needs)

BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom
10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied
S and I move out 3/15