It's Time to Sing a Brand New Song

[Mimi00]

Thanks K and thank you for your prayers and thoughts... much appreciated.

I asked the friend that's staying w/ me, to stay until I can quit my current job (i hope to in the next 3 months), b/c I work a 12 hr night shift and my dog has been soooo good staying home alone, but I feel bad and even though I know he's sleeping, it can't be good to "hold it" that long and I never want to do that to him again.... I would've never done it had it not been for my sitch... but having her living there is helpful w/ the dog b/c she takes him out and plays w/ him at night when I'm not there. Right now I am 15-20 mins from my job, and when I move I will be 35-45 mins away and that totally wouldn't be cool for the dog.

So she's going to stay for a few months w/ us b/c also to her advantage, staying with me gives her a chance to save money that she would not have an opportunity to save otherwise. SO it's a win/win.... but hopefully I will be able to have t0 come to an end/end in 3-4 months lol because I do love my own space so I hope to find a new day job soon then quit my night job after working 2 jobs and saving for a few weeks.

Also something I noticed.... it's funny how time changes perspective. When my H left and said he didn't want anything.... and all of our stuff was left behind in storage for me to pay on my own, and I didn't want any of it either b/c I thought it would remind me of him (which I am sure it will upon initial viewing b/c all of that stuff I worked my butt off to purchase w/ no help from him, to decorate our place and make it a beautiful and comfortable home).

But now that some time has passed, I do want to my stuff back and I am excited to see it(there's a large entertainment heavy center cabinet and coffee table set and a wooden bed frame I want to get rid of, but everything else I can totally use and want!). My new apartment has multiple rooms and I am excited to decorate! Hopefully I will be able to drive and get it in April.

I can't believe it, but April will be a year since H said "I love you, I would die for you.....but maybe we shouldn't be together".... O_o

Things truly do get better when you let go, trust the process and just live life and see the process through to the end...don't rush it, don't slow it down....let it ride.

Every once in a while I will think of something that makes me teary, but other than those rare occasions, things are so much brighter than they were a few months ago. So for anyone who is still feeling low, know it does get better if you just accept what is and become open to all possibilities....PLAN A, B, and Z....and know whatever plan takes form you will be able to handle it and be better b/c of it.

I was emailed my lease to print and sign today and I was actually proud to see the blank spot next to my name.

I've worked my butt off these last few months, and half of what I've saved will have to go to my deposit (lol i hate that) but I feel like this is what I have been prepared for in the last few months... I don't know what will happen but I feel ready for it. Some of our brightest moments are cultivated in the darkest times.... I am ready for the sun to shine!