me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Hey Mimi, you are a night owl indeed judging by the timestamp, how's the overnight job treating you these days? Find anything else to transition to?
I'm doing well, thanks for checking in. No news on the divorce front because my L got married and is on her honeymoon until sometime in March.
I closed out the joint account yesterday and sent her her half of the funds. She never switched her disability and life insurance from the joint account to her individual after repeated requests to do so. So I just zeroed it out, and sent her the proceeds. Now she has no choice. I didn't do this out of spite, but she continues to use marital assets for things that she agreed to pay on her own 4 months ago. No more Mr. Nice Guy!
Anyway, I've been dating pretty regularly here, seeing three different women who all know the situation. Keeping it PG with all of them of course as I'm still technically married. I think your concerns about not finding someone as a 30 year old soon to be 31 divorced woman are understandable. I doubt you'll have any issues though, you should ask DJ man out! What have you got to lose?
The three women I'm seeing are very different, one is divorced, no kids, married for a short time to an alcoholic. One is divorced with an 8 month old (who is adorable and loves me) but she is very conflicted as her divorce is really recent, so we've decided to maintain a friendship for now. The other woman is one I met from a meetup and she's very private. The other two are very open. Anyway, they enjoy going out and good conversations at this point, and the adult interaction for me is good versus just talking to my dog!
I wish you the best as you move forward. K-love's word yesterday was Proverbs 4:25- "Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you." and today's I also found pertinent Proverbs 4:26-27 "Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil."
We can't choose the paths are WAS put us on, but we can just focus on maintaining the changes we have made to ourselves through the process and embrace those as positive outcomes from an otherwise horrific situation.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Good morning DB brethren! Received the following email from W last night, looking for thoughts on 1) do I need to respond? 2) what do I need to say if I do?
"Hi H,
Thank you for taking the time to write up the information needed to complete the taxes. I have all of my W2s now and am gathering the other documents. I will send you an email after I input my information so you can give it a once over before submitting. Right now, I am more focused on the final decree and working that out, but I will get to the taxes after that.
Also, I would like to stop by the house sometime in the next 2 weeks while you are at work. I know you are taking great care of it... I would just like to see it again and make sure I didn't forget anything we haven't already talked about. Are your days off still the same (Saturday/Monday) and work till 7 or 8pm?
I hope Kahlua is doing well! I miss her like crazy and think about her everyday. Thank you for giving me the option a few months ago to share time with her. I had to make the extremely difficult decision to have her all the time or not at all. I think it would be too confusing for her and too painful for me. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that it was not a decision I took lightly and I think about her all the time.
Hope you are well."
My initial reaction response would be the fewest amount of words I could muster-
"Days off Sunday/Tuesday. Work til 8.
Dog's good."
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Hey K, thanks for your kind words. Yes I am up late b/c of my job....I will start looking for something else this week...hope to find something become the month is out.
As for the email, yes, I would keep it short...say hello and let her know your days off...she did t ask about the dog, rather made a statement that she hopes the dog is well...so you dont have to address it, unless you want. Im sure she will see all is well whe. She stops by.
3 different dates...all sound interesting...that must be nice to put your self out there and get a postive response. I will attempt to one day....i am use to being approached...But I have learned my lesson..if I want something I have to go after...b/c the good guys always are to nervous to speak...while the "confident" (not usually the good confidence, but the slight arrogance masking past hurt) ones are usually the ones I need to run from. Lol
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
As for the email, yes, I would keep it short...say hello and let her know your days off...she did t ask about the dog, rather made a statement that she hopes the dog is well...so you dont have to address it, unless you want. Im sure she will see all is well whe. She stops by.
I ended up sending "Days off Sunday/Tuesday, work until 8."
I re-read her email before I saw your response and noticed the same thing, she only talked about the dog, didnt ask how she was. So I didn't address it.
Glad to hear things are looking up for you! New place for you fantastic!
You will get out there and date and find someone stellar. Enjoy that!
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Wonka, she only stops by while I'm at work. She won't see me. But I make sure to always look good when out and have gotten a new wardrobe since I lost weight! Thanks for trying to help.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Call me a bit vindictive, but knowing that W is going to stop by the house while I'm at work one of these days, it actually inspired me to move all of her items to the garage. So I've put almost everything of hers from the house out there. I also took the time to print out about 40 pictures taken since bombdrop of me having fun around the city with friends and with my dog. I needed to personalize the house to me anyway, and finally took the time to do it.
I had the day off, met a friend for lunch, and have a breakfast date tomorrow morning. Things are going well, I'm fine as long as I don't see or hear from the STBXW. My lawyer should return from her honeymoon soon and that's when the "fun" begins. Not looking forward to property negotiations, since we both think we're keeping the house at this point. Isn't possession 9/10ths of the law? At least my keeping the house, I provide for paying out her portion of the equity, her proposal afforded me no such thing. Other than the house, I have enough furniture that was mine prior to marriage I won't lose out too much.
H: 29 WAXW: 30
Bomb Drop- 9/9/13 Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14 D Final- 5/21/14 XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
I dont see what you did as vindictive... You are living your new life. Out with the old...right?
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
