I think that DR, and Sandi's rules, both say not to bring up anything pushy or remotely-R related so I would not bring that topic up. I would just make the changes and note to yourself what works and what doesn't. You are definitely on the right track though.
Actually in DR, Step 2 (Chapter 3) is Know What You Want. This is where you are supposed to set your goals and they need to be refined so that they are positively stated, action-oriented and small & manageable.
Then Step 3 (Chapter 4) is Ask for What You Want. Here it talks about sharing your goals with your spouse and when and how to do so. However it does say that if your marriage is dangling by a thread, that you shouldn't ask your spouse for anything.
So I guess I'm not sure where my marriage is at this point. She is going to see the MC (albeit by herself at least for now) and she hasn't said that she will not work on the marriage, just that she doesn't know if she wants it to work or not. She has moved out because she thinks that will help her figure that out and I'm trying to give her the space to do so. Would that be considered "dangling by a thread"?
As far as making changes and trying different things, because we don't live together, it is difficult to tell what is working and what isn't.
Me:45 W:45 D17, S21 (at college) M:23 T:27 BD: 11/17/13 Started Counseling: 12/18/13 W Moved Out: 02/01/14
