Tough.. here is what I have discovered recently. For me it is possible to let go and still have hope because I have completely changed what I am hoping for. At first I was hoping for a R of my marriage. Now I do not want that at all. My marriage, I can now see, was cr@p. What I now hope us that ny h will emerge from whatever he is going through as a whole healthy person. I hope I will have an opportunity to get to know that person. Maybe that will be a person I can build a new relationship with. At the least I hope that will be a persOn I can coparent successfully with.
^^^Agree with this! I still get frustrated and vent like I did earlier a bit in my own thread but felt better to get it out and past it!
The old marriage is dead. Took me a while to realize this and really start detaching. Once I really started to detach and work on myself through GAL I realized how much better a man, father and husband I can be! I started feeling better about myself and also strengthened my relationship with my kids.
What I have realized is I am the one progressing yet she is still hindered by the past. The past is what keeps that wall up. As much as she wanted change....I am changing but she is in a stagnant limbo with no progression....just wallowing in what she wants. That's the whole point of DB right? Work on you...you can't fix them but your changes are for you and the way you affect and respond to those around you.
Once you get to this state and realize your full potential and what you have to offer, you realize you have choices too!
We all want our M to work; rather we want a new and better R than before....but what if it doesn't happen? You learn from your mistakes; consider it a life lesson and move forward.
I love my wife very much and would rather spend my life with her but, and I would never tell her this, she can either start growing with me and we both learn and benefit from this opportunity life has given us for a new and better M, or, I willtake the new me and make some other lucky lady a very good husband at my wife's expense!
Just my $.02! Take it for what its worth!
Azagtoth
Me: 44 X WAW/MLC: 42 Kids: S21, D11 BD: July 2013 (ILYBNILWY) EAx2: Busted 1 OCT 2013; 25 Mar 2014 Status: Divorcing & Done! Waiting to be final (Nov 2014?) & glad it's finally over!
