Will you please stop placing your daughter in the same picture as your wife? You see "the women" as though they are a team and you are "the loser". Stop this pitiful victim role. It is so unattractive! Who wants to be around an adult who acts like a wounded animal who runs and hides in his den?

We told you some time ago that you were reacting the same toward your daughter as your wife. You are even worse now. You are holding onto resentments against your child just b/c she turned down an invitation.........and referring to her as "the rejector"?

Instead of actually doing some of things we have suggested trying to improve the R with your D, you had rather try to convince us that this is all her CHOICE? Well you just run back into your cave and lick your wounds, but remember, this is your choice......not hers.

Why would she not spend more time with the parent who actually tried to make a live connection with her? How many minutes per day did you say you spent with her? And how many of those suggestions we offered did you try?

Nobody suggested that you get your W to PUSH your D towards you! We did, however, tell you that YOU had to actually DO something. If you expect your daughter to be the leader in this R with you, then you will stay in your cave licking your victim wounds. She is not the adult. She is not the parent!

You have not taken responsibility for something as important as your R with your daughter. It is easier for you to group her as being like her mother......preferring her mother.....and how it's her choice. It hasn't been a choice for her, Luke! What have you given her of yourself? Oh yes, you can pay for nice trips......but what part of you does she have? Relationships are about giving yourself to that other person.

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When you say deep, I am not sure in which direction this should go. My past? My feelings (anger/sadness/love/frustration - not a pretty picture)? I do ask her about things, a la Dale Carnegie.


Well IDK, Luke, how many directions are in the depth of something? You are the one with the degree in engineering. But I would say to not make it complicated.
How about you not make it about you (however, at some point you could think about sharing some of your feelings). Remember me telling you how teenage girls are all about feelings? You might actually make contact with her, expressing your feelings about things that matter to you....like her. Remember me suggesting how you could stop by her room every night and make it all about what kind of day she had? She wouldn't say a lot at first, since you've never done it, but if you just did SOMETHING to show the girl she mattered more to you than anything else in life....THAT would fan the ashes of this father-daughter R.

Have you ever considered how she must already feel rejected by her father? You wouldn't fight for your M, will you not fight for your daughter either?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!