Hi PM... not really, although I am trying to wrap my head around it.
Lemme try: SHE DOES NOT EXIST, therefore proceed with caution when entertaining H's pursuing ways, i.e. coffee/visits/beer date?
Is that what you mean?
No, it means she does not exist, so you shouldn't be spending any mental energy on her at all. You're too busy working on yourself. And after all, how can you spend mental energy on someone who doesn't exist? Get it?
When I say "She does not exist" it has nothing to do with coffee or your husband or anything else. It means she does not get any rent-free space in your brain...that's it.
Regarding the intricacies of your R with your H, I don't know your sitch well enough to speak to those precise questions. The macro-level approach I posted about earlier in this thread is as much as I feel comfortable with (you have a lot of threads). Here is what I posted:
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
