New to This - An English Man In Trouble

[Hadlee58]

Well my son enjoyed his 8th birthday weekend and i survived spending the day with him and 5 off his best buddies so i guess i can conquer anything
We did the usual things on his birthday which was having family around to celebrate with him, i cant lie and say it wasnt difficult putting on a happy front with my own family and more so my wifes family but i put on a brave face and interacted with them all, i know its mind-reading but i can only imagine what my W has told them about me on how i am so controlling etc etc. Its hard not to start to believe it all myself, i know i am no shrinking violet and have had my issues in the past but i have to keep reminding myself that i am not that bad a person and only partly to blame for our current state.
We took my son to a 'football' themed restaurant for his dinner on Saturday night which went well until i offered both kids the opportunity to use the ice-cream making machine twice, my W only wanted them to use it once and have cake on our return home, this proved a massive issue with her how i hadnt listened to her views ahead and was controlling the situation. Not much i could do she got really upset and wouldnt talk to me after the children went to bed.
Yesterday morning we did have a pretty calm talk about this and i told her i was in mo way trying to undermine her, this is where it got interesting:
She again brought up how she had such a bad birthday in January, i did nothing for her on valentines day and even last weekend when she told me she had found somewhere else to live i made no attempt to fight for her or our marriage and now she has signed the lease papers, in effect i have given up. I replied that what was i supposed to do when she had told me that she didnt love me and that i was the root cause of all her unhappiness? I had to get across that i am far from giving up on our marriage but what can i do, i am damned if i do and damned if i dont. Things seemed to quieten down after this and we even managed to enjoy the evening together after the kiddos were in bed, its times like this i see glimpses of the woman i fell madly in love with and still do despite it all.
I really am at a stage of pulling my hair out on where to go from here, carry on working on me is the only option i have.