WAW seems confused

[ManHope]

Thanks mlc! I can and I will do my best to do more things for myself.
The problem has always been that every time I think about it, it makes me think that if I say "I am going out" or stuff like that, she may think I am doing it to make her jealous or that I have maybe found someone else. I now see that maybe the more "moral" thing to do may be to join groups, or take classes or coach something,etc... Something that is constant, that lasts more than just "going to the movies" or "going out"

Here is a summary of what I have actually done:
- Started to work out heavily since the bomb dropped.
- I joined the watchdogs "dads group" at my D school
- I led the watchdogs group at my D 5K run and volunteered at the water station,etc...
- I play the drums and have them at my office. I go play by myself at least twice a month.
- I have been seeing a pastor at my church at least once a month
- I have subscribed to telephone coaching with DB team.
- I volunteer every wed night at kids choir at the church we go to. I am my sons teacher. My W volunteers as well as my D goes there as well. We always meet for dinner at the same restaurant after since we don't see each other while at the church.

So, I have done some stuff to GAL but certainly not enough maybe? I am curious what she would say if I text her: "Hey, you need to pickup dinner on your way home because I have x to do and I won't be cooking tonight..." (Signaling that I won't be home when she gets there... You know? --- It almost seems counter productive but I don't know...

Here are some other ideas I have:
- My church has groups. I could join some of them. There are marriage groups but someone once told me I need to not work on the marriage all the time. So maybe I could join groups like music, etc... (I love to sing, play drums).
- Mixers: I stopped going to networking mixers after the bomb. She never liked me going to those. I used to go once every two months to network and since I never really go out and drink or anything, those will be the only times I would drink, which I can tell you caused me to do stupid things like getting home later than the usual. I never cheated, hit, yell, abused her or anything. I did do something stupid 3 weeks before the bomb as after a mixer I went to a str!p bar (haven't gone in 13 years) and then confessed to her but she was really upset. So... If I do networking events again, I will not drink (I quit drinking anyways). But even so, I am reluctant because of the memories it holds to her.
- I could be more involved at my D's school.
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