I found myself on this board many years ago, at first I just read alot then I actually posted my situation, I came here to see if there was a magic pill or a LRT I could do to fix my husband, my marriage but there isn't and there will never be one. It is a process that will take many years for it to come to pass, and in the meantime we still read and look in here to see if maybe just maybe there really is something that can be done for us to have our old life back pre MLC ,because it really wasn't that bad, but our ex's went on a journey and would never return the same as they used to be. But one thing for sure we will at one point in this journey change as well, we become stronger than we thought we could ever be. I have cried many many tears not as much anymore but it took years to get to that point, Job has always said it will be up to the LBS whether we want our ex's back because to be honest the way my ex is now there is no way I would want him back she has him as he is now, and what I have seen he is not a nice person and I guess she must like him being the head of the home. He is so arrogant,selfish,angry,full of himself,just not a very nice person or that is what he shows us , he might be different wiith her I dont know and don't care , all I know is every time he hurts our daughter's heart a little bit of the love that I used to have for him dies, I am to the point that if he came or wanted to come back he would have to do a lot of changing in order for me to even think about him coming back home. All I know is that I don't want that kind of heart ache ever again in my life, it was too much to bear at times. I have made it to the other side of that mountain and deep dark valley and I like where I am now. He is the one who has to deal with all the pain and harm he has caused, one day God will reveal that to him and I hope and pray he can handle it , because he hurt the people he loved most in his life, so glad I was not the one who did all that..... Just wanted to journal here tonight maybe it will help some one....God bless each and everyone of you and for all of you who still come here and give advice I pray your rewards will be many....Irma
