Barrybran, about the example with your W over ruling you with your S. I remember reading an example situation similar in DR between a couple that MWD dealt with. This may be something good to experiment with. In the case she talked about the H and W had similar situations regularly. They both felt, without saying anything to one another, that they were both too extreme. I won't drag the case out but maybe she feels you are too hard on kids when making them follow instructions. Right or wrong isn't my point. If she feels that way she could be over compensating trying to make the kids feel better. Just a thought, but you might find a 180 in this. Again, I'm not saying anything you are doing is wrong but your W might perceive it as that.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10