Quite a bit has happened in the past week. H has had a few temper tantrums but I did not allow him to pull me into his dark clouds.
H decided he was not going to talk to me one night and spent hours on the radio and outside in his vehicle until about 2am. I did not ask any questions and we did not talk. The next day, H still was not talking to me so I hung out with my friends. When I came home, he started yelling and wanting to know where I'd been. I did not answer any of his questions. I told him that he needed to talk to me with respect or not at all. That I was not going to tell him anything while he was acting stupid. He said that he was sorry for hurting me with his previous behavior but felt like he was no longer good for me and that he was going to save up to move out in a few weeks. I did not react but simply told him that was fine and went to bed.
The next day, H was sulking. I ignored him and went about my normal routine. Later, he apologized again and started to talk about how he wanted everything to work out with us. I told him that I was through with sitting around waiting for him to be in a good mood. That I was going to enjoy my life with or w/o him and not sit around the house bitter. He apologized for acting out. I did not mention it again.
Yesterday, H called from work and asked me to go to the movies with him. I was with my sister at the time. I told him we were having dinner at a local restaurant. My sister is currently going through a separation and getting out sometimes helps us both. H asked me to bring him some food home. I made it home just in time for H to eat but we were running late for the movie. H had an attitude upon my arrival and once again the silent treatment. It seemed like he wanted me to end my dinner with my sister early but we were right in the middle of dinner plus I had to order and wait for his takeout. Anyway, I decided to leave and attend an event at our local community center. I made it home around 12a and went to bed. H slept on the couch. This time, he did not act out. I did not mention his behavior.
Today, I did a few chores around the house. I planned to go to the market but didn't want to get out in the cold weather. I did not initiate a conversation with H. He broke his silence by giving me money for some of the bills. Later he asked if I wanted to go to dinner and a movie. I really did not want to go anywhere but compromised by going to the movies which I enjoyed. Neither of us mentioned the day before.
I am still not sure how things are going to turn out for us. Sometimes I enjoy being with him and sometimes I do not want to be around him at all. Although I have not had many triggers lately, my feelings are still fickle and my tolerance is low. I try to make sure that I don't react and say things out of anger and frustration. I say what's on mind once and leave it a that. No nagging or trying to get H to see things my way. I listen to him when he does open up and I don't try to force him to talk when doesn't want to. I'm trying to give this relationship time to heal. In the meantime, I expect H to follow through on his household commitments.
