I remember when I was a kid people would say to me "enjoy it, this is the best time of your life!" I would think "are you kidding? It only gets WORSE from here??" Growing up is tough and it hurts.
Really? I don't think that's true for everyone. I don't recall being a kid to be hard at all. I do recall in high school when I was waaaaaaaayyy smarter than my stupid parents, but other than that . . .
"I understand the concept laid out in DR of "baby steps", but unfortunately they don't always mean things are getting better. I could give you a list of a thousand baby steps I saw from W, and yet here I am about 2 weeks from the D being finalized. So don't read too much into the baby steps."
I can't recall, does DR even talk about baby steps in this situation, or is that only when the M is still intact?
I don't think that noticing baby steps is bad, but like AS said, it's reading into them too much that's the problem. (I am not sure there is a way to notice and not read into them, though, honestly.) I got great and very quick results from DBing - my H and I got along fabulously during the six weeks between BD and him moving out. He mentioned the changes many times. He even said he admired me for them, and it made him remember why he married me. But here we are five months later and he still wants a D.
That's why I think that really, once you are here, you need to be putting the vast majority of your focus on YOU and not your W. Just my $.02.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
