Well, I got a pleasant (OK, not unpleasant) text from H this morning, responding to my text from Friday.
Hopefully we can continue to communicate in a pleasant manner. I know I need to be grateful for every non-antagonistic communication, but I can't help but be suspicious and wonder what the F he is up to. I just don't trust him one tiny bit.
He is going to have to really be consistent with his changes to convince me that they are lasting.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
I'm w/ Paul ((((M)))) I was just catching up w/ your thread; you have been great throughout this keeping your emotions in check when responding to him.
I hope you have a pleasant day today M!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Well, I got a pleasant (OK, not unpleasant) text from H this morning, responding to my text from Friday.
Hopefully we can continue to communicate in a pleasant manner. I know I need to be grateful for every non-antagonistic communication, but I can't help but be suspicious and wonder what the F he is up to. I just don't trust him one tiny bit.
He is going to have to really be consistent with his changes to convince me that they are lasting. H
funny how in a sense when this stuff breaks kinda like your situstion and mine we begin to become " the one who does the leaving..." if you understsnd my quoted part. I don't really care what my W does now. I'm done.
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
It's interesting, because up until the point where I filed for S, I wasn't done at all.
It's his behavior, now that things aren't going his way, that makes me realize he is not what I want in a partner. And maybe the reason he left is because I spent years trying to make him be more when he simply never was.
I feel like someone has this MLK, Jr. quote in his/her signature:
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
I know where I want to stand (and have worked hard to do so), and now I know where my H stands.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
It's interesting, because up until the point where I filed for S, I wasn't done at all.
It's his behavior, now that things aren't going his way, that makes me realize he is not what I want in a partner. And maybe the reason he left is because I spent years trying to make him be more when he simply never was.
I feel like someone has this MLK, Jr. quote in his/her signature:
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
I know where I want to stand (and have worked hard to do so), and now I know where my H stands.
holy cow M!!! I just had the same feelings. please read my entry in WAW seems confused. Once I filed and got out of limbo, I see my situation completely differently. I didn't hurt that D16 kind of spelled it out for me either. Now W is acting as herself. I actually asked my sis yesterday, "....was she always like this....?!?..." over something very abrasive W did. She laughed and said "...yes. you just didn't want to see it....You loved her...."
W actually vented to my D16 that she'd stayed as long as she did because I made ALOT of money. otherwise she'd have left me years ago....WTF????
I now see W completely differently. I've begun to meet new people and I am seeing qualities in these people that I really would like in a partner some day. Each day I am much less concerned about W and where she is or what she wants. in fact, she still has stuff at my house and I want it gone. ugh.
We seem to be on similar paths....perhaps its just me...but we do.
I am learning a lot from watching your situation. thanks!
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
I feel like someone has this MLK, Jr. quote in his/her signature:
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Perhaps. I know I've used that quote a lot.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
bug, for the record, that wasn't what I thought you were saying at all! Your advice is exactly the opposite of pointing out to people that they are delusional - I get it!
That response was to 3boyz . . . I was agreeing with her that my H needs a lawyer to inject some reality into his ideas about D.
I did read your response in the context of the earlier postings.
I apologize.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
