P.S. The dissolution reality felt a lot like the BD time. It was a reminder of how far I had come--reminded me of when I couldn't sleep for months and waking up at 3 a.m. was the norm. I went back to sleeping on the couch for a few nights while I felt the dissolution reality feelings. That's my M.O. when in deep grief.
It will be ok.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Hi Pud. Like you my sitch was stagnant for some time, but like you it seems I am now on my way to Dville.
Came across H's facebook page which he finally did something with after years of nothing and there she was ... the OW he said he had ended it with.
I lost it and told him he couldn't stay here when he came back in a few days, that I wanted him to move out and it was over for us.
He stayed at a hotel, starting arranging getting me off his bank accounts (and him off mine), has started making arrangements to move his stuff somewhere, has hired an attorney and told me he accepts D and that he wants me to move on and be happy because he can't be the kind of H I need.
He did tell me he had dinner with OW before he came back and I suspect he is getting advice from her to go through with the D.
I have spent most of the day separating stuff he asked me to go through. I hate doing that, but better him than me. Lois is right. It feels a lot like BD time.
I am so sorry we are going through all this, but this DB stuff IS good for us. I have found strength I didn't know I had and it seems that you have, too. I just keep thinking of that Gloria Gaynor song - "I Will Survive." And we will!
Hugs 2T2M
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
I'm sorry we're all going through this similar situation. I guess i'm lucky in a way that mine got the papers so fast. He BD on Jan 6th and had the papers soon after. I saw he had them, he was afraid to give them to me or something. I saw them sitting on his truck seat, then later he smuggled them inside and put them in a drawer. ??? I had hoped he was rethinking it but he wasn't, took him days to give them to me. Then I had him change them and I took them to a lawyer to read. By then I was reading these boards and knew there was nothing I could do to change it or fix it so I just signed them and gave them back right away. He filed them a few days later and never discussed it since. I think they are final in April. I keep singing that song too by Gaynor, and I did change the darn locks! he wouldn't even tell me when he was moving out! he was sneaking things out 2 days like I wouldn't notice?? finally i just asked. how hard is it to tell me you're moving when you already filed divorce papers, it's just common courtesy. argh, sorry just having a bad day. Let go, Let God! must keep repeating!!
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
