So you're dating......good for you!

[CallaghanClown]

Looks like the affair is heating up nicely. They've been to a friends party together or at least they've been pictured together. With a lot of our mutual friends there. I don't know what people know and don't know but it hurt. Stung.

I'm trying not to think about it.

He's been texting today about being ill and having to go to hospital. Lots of connections to the past, past illness. I wished him well and said I hope he had someone there to look after him. He said he had nobody to ask, hadn't planned it well etc....... I've not bothered responding, he can deal with his own mess.

Why keep the lie up? Shame, guilt, she's a bandaid? Why humiliate me? Why not tell me before somebody else does? Somebody already has.....but he doesn't know that. It makes me mad. I'm so kind to him, have such empathy for him. Makes me feel like cutting him off. Going no contact. But I don't see that helping my cause.....no decisions need to be made today.

I know I'm the prize. I know my ego is bruised. I need to get rid of that. Who or what he does has no connection to my self esteem. He's damaged, why should that reflect on who I am. I'm not the one jumping into bed with low hanging fruit. I don't need another human being to tell me how great I am, to feel good, I know it in my heart.

I just need to remember it.