own buz 23:mediation to reconcilliation, PATIENCE!

[makingmagic]

I have been spending some time reviewing old threads. It seems as though each of you have your own opinion. Not ONE Same group opinion as implied.
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Advice from Job:

What he is saying and doing right now is mass confusion and you, the former partner in the relationship, need to step way back and let him flounder. He's a grown man and he needs to figure things out. The more he talks to you about his feelings for you, the longer he can keep you on the hook.
... this says to me. Distance yourself to have protection for self from his confusion. Give him space. Do not allow him to reel me in with his "feelings". I need to see "action".

Mrbond's advice:

But you're not detaching to let things go and live your life. You're extremely insecure and afraid right now.IMHO, I really think your H is being honest and not trying to "protect" himeself or take advantage of you. I think like most people in MLC, he's confused and taking his time sorting things out because non-confrontation or non-conflict is what he's looking for..
... I agree totally with the non-conflict statement. This suggests for me to attract him back, by ways of listening to him, be his comfort to open up. Allow coffee/comfort time. Give him space and listen to him.


KenF advice:

if he insists on relationship talks, remind him he's a grown man and you'll talk about your relationship only after he's figured out what he wants, and that you have no interest in being involved with his confusion. and then leave it at that, end the conversation. show some self respect.
... this suggests to me, to present a boundary. No coffee/R talks. No connection time.

Advina's advice:

If it were me, I'd tell him: I'm not confused. You broke up with me a year ago. For a year you've acted like we're not together. You moved me out of your home. Although that is not what I wanted, you have been very clear. If you're interested in reconciling, you know where to find me. Until then, we're business partners.
... this suggests to me to leave him alone. Don't listen to his confused discussions. Do not have coffee/connection time with him.

Sandi's advice:
You don't give him comfort and connection stuff. You let him go. You let go of all of it. Get out of the business partnership with him..... This suggests that I do not allow coffee/connections time. Continue to divide assets.

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I appreciate ALL the DIFFERENT view points. You each make excellent points that I am considering. These are not at all one viewpoint.

Please feel free to correct me if I have misinterpreted your view point.

I need to detach more...