Don't know what to think

[2Times2Many]

Hi T-boned.

I too have read your sitch and want to thank you for posting on mine.

It is odd that they all seem to say and do similar things. It is so sad to see so many posts that say "my sitch is similar to yours."

My H also thinks we will be be friends once things are done. In fact he believes that if he realizes he has made a huge mistake by leaving me that he can someday knock on my door and I will take him back! Talk about feeling like a doormat!

Anyway, I am impressed with how well you are coping. We all know how difficult it is to see someone you truly care for completely self-destruct and there is nothing we can do to help.

I'm resigned to the fact that my marriage is over for now. We're going to a mediator, he is still insists he is done, and I believe it, but it may still be the MLC talking. I don't know what to think, other than I just have to move on. Maybe one day he will want to come back to me but I can't live my life hanging on to that thread.

We can accept intellectually that the M is over, but there is nothing wrong with shedding a few tears and feeling sadness now and then. It's no different than the passing of a loved one. The mind and the heart are sometimes at odds.

But, don't give up all hope. The journey is not over. I believe that these MLCer's know somewhere deep down that what they are doing is not in their best interest, but they convince themselves that if they just change this thing or that, then all will end well. But each thing they change ends up not being the change that makes them happy. They just have to figure it out for themselves.

Personally, I am not ready to complete cut that thread. But, I do know the hope that something will change and he will come back to me is not something that I can let consume my life. You can have the little glimmer of hope in your heart, and still move on with your life. I read here somewhere a post by a LBS that his mental perspective changed dramatically when he realized that although he wanted his WAW in his life, he didn't need her in his life. Once I came to believe that, my ability to cope improved dramatically as well.

Hugs,
2T2M