own buz 23:mediation to reconcilliation, PATIENCE!

[MrBond]

You just insulted me again.

"OK Bond... thanks... I dont think you understand what I am asking for (from you)."

I know perfectly well what you are asking for and I've given you advice and EXACT actions on what to do, time and time again.

"I am wanting to hear and follow through with what you suggest.... and I am."

I did many times.

"But the stuff PM is offering is what I thought you were trying to offer a few threads ago. Its a different approach. Look at PM's message. That's what I am wanting to hear ... from you!"

I am not PM. YOU cannot make someone be like someone else. Don't you get it by now? You can't control how someone responds back to you. Go back and read the post I said was insulting. Go through it line by line as if you were a total stranger. You don't even make an effort to understand. You only TRY to understand the things that you want to. You're extremely selective and controlling about what you will accept in people's advice.

"I feel that I did do that, then you challenged me on it and said I wasn't doing the right thing. I feel I cannot do anything right by you."

You don't have anything to prove to me. The issue was that you kept and continue to fall onto your old habits.

In fact, I cringed when I read your last posting about your interactions with your H. You consistently write as if he had ulterior motives. He TOLD you that coffee was a good way to start for him to open up. But you acted like "I'm not falling for that trick again". Because for some reason you don't want to open yourself to him. If you were strong enough, you would just tell him "sure, coffee sounds great" without expectations. And that's what you have ... expectations or think that he's being sneaky. Go back and read all of your threads for God's sake. He's told you exactly what he wants and needs. If you don't want to hear it, then leave. He's not your husband, he's a boyfriend. Just walk away.

You keep shutting the door on him when he offers you positives to shield your own poor self esteem. You haven't work on your SELF-ESTEEM. All you're doing is deflecting things so you don't get hurt. IT'S NOT THE SAME.