You've gotten some great advice from 3boyz here. I wanted to add that you need to think about whether the very temporary satisfaction you may get from unloading on your H is worth the setback. Why do you think your H will not speak to you? Because he doesn't want to hear you say stuff like that!! If you do your 180s and you act as if, and all that, he may start to notice and feel a little more comfortable around you. But then you go and unload on him and it teaches him that it's better to avoid you. Do you see that?
Also, you will hear this over and over again here, but you need to accept that nothing YOU say is going to make your H see outside of his current POV. No guilting, shaming, logic . . . NOTHING. When you try to challenge his actions and beliefs, you are only going to make him dig his heels in further.
This is so early in your sitch. I am not even THAT far ahead of you, but things have gotten much better for me. It's extremely difficult (almost seems impossible, I know!) to do, but if you focus on YOU and your kids, and not your H, you will feel better. I promise.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
