melissa #999

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks, 3boyz, that's exactly what I am saying. My H is delusional, and me pointing that out will do no good, no matter how nice I am about it. I am hoping that his lawyer can give him a slap upside the head.

One of the more delusional things my h said while deep in the "ordeal", was about a divorce settlement, which I had brought up as he was leaving for the LAST FRONTIER!!!!!

a week later...He said this: "I thought you'd be in the US Senate by now, and earning a lot more"...To be fair, on our first date he asked me what I wanted to do and I told him "something political or literary...maybe someday run for office. In 6th grade I used to say I wanted to be a senator..."

My h repeated a comment I made in 6th grade, told him on our first date. And which he'd literally been holding me to, all these years....never mind the "newer" info like "I don't like the hypocrisy of Capitol Hill" or "Never knew I'd enjoy being a mom THIS much..." etc

The crazy part is that comment really bugged me! Like I'd sold out or settled.

(BTW, H does NOT recall ever saying the senate commet....)

But as Ad says, we've been here awhile. Melissa, you are new to this stage of things and you are doing SO WELL, I'm very impressed.

In that first year, I got some good help. And I've seen a GOOD T, and attended my favorite workshop (again) and I've done a lot of personal work.

Today I'd laugh at that 'senate' comment AND OR say "oh yeah, I remember saying that...In 6th grade"

At one dark hour, when it was clear that H was delusional about the costs of things and how fast I'd be making 6 figures again and NOT miss the kids (mind you, H would be living 3000 miles away AND wanted "shared custody"...sure...sure..that'll happen) I'm pretty sure I briefly spewed at him then.

But he also said "well then, this is going to be WAR! I'll hire a L."

To which I said, "Thank GOD! You need to talk to a real L and get some good legal info b/c you are nowhere nearly as accurate as you seem to think...PLEASE HIRE ONE ASAP"...which I think surprised him. I meant every word.

Mel, Your h has a L who will bring him in line, whether or not that is revealed to you, I cannot say.
But in your particular situation, your L husband NEEDS to have another L do some 'splainin' to him, which will decrease the spew you face. In the long run, it will save YOU money for HIM to hire a L and to go thru the Ls for further communications, at this time.


I am sure when he gets the L bills, your h, eventually, will start behaving better, at least to your face. B/c it simply costs too much to continue being a jerk. For now, while you are barely over the reeling this has caused, you need to Keep the Spew away...

What's money for, if not that?

Mel, Do NOT take his spew, in.



I am not convinced that he will ever be happy with the outcome of the D (other than the fact that we will be D), but tough. You live with the consequences of your decisions.

The ONLY question that matters to me, and in time I hope, to YOU,

is how the outcome of the D will be for YOU and your kids.

And YOU have a lot to say about that.