First post here - I'm 32, wife is 33. Married 10 years with D6 and S4.
Sept 2013 - She tells me she's not sure if this going to work out or not. I get pretty emotional and sad about it, which looking back on it was not the right way to act. Oct 2013 - She tells me that she had been seeing OM over the summer and they kissed, but it's over now. Nov 2013 - I hear from her sister that she is still seeing OM and she says they are just friends, but she apologizes and says she will stop seeing him. Dec 2013 - She really starts investing into looking for a place to live so we can be separated, and she moves out Dec 31, which I stupidly agree to pay for for 4 months, because she doesn't have a job and stays home to watch our kids. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
A couple weeks after that I finally decide to look at the phone records and find a lot of texting/phone calls with a number. I find out who it was and confront her about it. She is pretty upset and says she might be in love with him. I confront him about it and he says they are just friends and he doesn't have feelings for her that way and will stop talking to her. I'm pretty confused by this. And she even says the next day that they were just friends and she was defensive/emotional and does not actually love him.
The next day she tells me its over and it was definitely the worst moment of my life, and I'm yelling at her a lot. For the past month and a half she has been working on the divorce papers. Since that day though I've researched a lot of things and been going with very little contact with her. Trying to detach is hard, but I'm getting there. She told me didn't love me a few days ago and I was able to get through that without folding up. The hardest thing is the kids though and I don't look forward to telling them what's going to happen, though I think D6 has caught on and is holding it in. I'm trying to be the strongest I can be around them both and keeping things as fun as possible.
The papers from the lawyer will probably be ready in a couple of weeks. I did talk to a coach on Thursday and some of it really sunk in on what steps to take.
The things I have working for me are the kids (she doesn't want to go without them, but she wants them to be with me.... I'm like well there is a solution for that) and her family, which does not approve of what she is doing, but I think at times have been a little too harsh with her.
