I've discovered a very good book that I believe is useful whether you've just experienced bd or are still working on putting yourself back together. It's by Vikki Stark and is entitled Runaway Husbands (I think it would be equally beneficial to men).
Even though I'm more than two years post bd, I'm still very much recovering from the blow. I know I am doing all of the right things to aid my recovery, but I still feel tired, have no interest in resuming my old activities or going out with friends. I want to be home, with my kids, working in the yard, taking a nap or reading a book.
I'm finally starting to understand the traumatic effects that bd had on my brain. It's not something that can be fixed by pills or therapy. It will take time and a lot of it.
Stark describes her own bd, but also includes lots of stories that she collected. It's amazing how similar the experiences are - the spouse who leaves without notice, re-writes history, actively gaslights. Seemingly a switch is flipped and that person becomes your worst enemy.
I sure wish I would have found this book several years ago when I was in total crisis.
