Smokey has left the building. He seemed sad and quiet. He didn't bring anything up except to say, "I may need to let you know about every other week...I had someone quit this week so I'm down to three people at work..."
I was upbeat and friendly. He seemed to want to stay away from me because, well, ya know, I'm dangerous with my hidden agendas and manipulation.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
And, D11 is ok. No lunch. She seemed relieved and glad her friend was able to stay with her the entire visit. This is a good friend!
I told him how much I appreciated his hanging around. They spent most of the time outside. I told him, in my opinion, doing that is the way to go and, within no time, he will be able to take her to lunch. He seemed angry/irritated when I said that, so I STFU.
He made no mention of the barn roof or anything else around the house.
It felt like someone who has come to this decision about me and didn't want to talk to me too long because it may sway his opinion...easier to stay away.
I did tell him how I was writing about the stuff in his plant and I joked about it, but he brought the conversation to a quick close. This was different. Normally, he hangs and talks to me.
Didn't tell me goodbye and I didn't really make an effort to say goodbye either. Just let it go. I was nice and it's over and I'm still calm and D11 is ok. Whew!!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
And, I was right about the family thing. It was lunch with his parents. They backed down, so he backed down. Gawd knows what they think is going on. They refuse to call me and set up visits.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I'm glad to see that everything went better than expected and it was nice for your daughter to have her friend there w/her. He certainly couldn't say anything about that, now could he?
He sounds like he's planning to visit more than he has in the past and hopefully, in time, your daughter might be more willing to do things w/him, if he stays consistent.
Now you can breathe and catch your breath!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wow Heathter, you have had some 24hours. I know he upset you and it sent you spinning, but you sat back, calmed down and things turned out much better than you hoped.
See, you can deal with this if you stay calm. Now have a good day and enjoy yourself. Get back to thinking about that Forester...
I'm glad the visit was less stressful and less confrontational than you feared. I'm pretty tied up, but will respond later.
Also, I want to slip this in now: you are NOT the worst mom ever. Don't degrade yourself like that. It isn't constructive. Just focus on doing what's right and best going forward.
-PM (mobile)
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Thanks guys. I feel better and this was very different in terms of how I FELT around Smokey. I felt some sad, some rejection...but the key word here is SOME. I wasn't overwhelmed by ANY single feeling. There was moment of...how could he NOT WANT ME??? But, it was followed by...wow, he really hasn't changed. If his tantrum yesterday was because his parents yelled "Jump!" Then, he is the same ol Smokey and that's not even close to the man I want in my life. I deserve someone who can feel good in his own skin.
Just some thoughts. But still sad he couldn't fight to be/or maybe is unable to be a partner to such a fab woman like me.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Thanks guys. I feel better and this was very different in terms of how I FELT around Smokey. I felt some sad, some rejection...but the key word here is SOME. I wasn't overwhelmed by ANY single feeling. There was moment of...how could he NOT WANT ME??? But, it was followed by...wow, he really hasn't changed. If his tantrum yesterday was because his parents yelled "Jump!" Then, he is the same ol Smokey and that's not even close to the man I want in my life. I deserve someone who can feel good in his own skin.
Just some thoughts. But still sad he couldn't fight to be/or maybe is unable to be a partner to such a fab woman like me.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
He didn't leave a check and didn't respond when asked if he made an after hours bank deposit.
My mom's anxiety is to the limit. Just got off the phone with her. "What does this mean for North Carolina? Can you pay for the car repairs??"
I had to get off the phone. I went from feeling some peace over everything to panic. Now, she has me thinking he is!??? I don't know what...but, I feel panic. I wish I hadn't answered the phone.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
