A twist on cake-eating & dropping a bomb of my own

[T-boned]

2T2M, first of all I'm sorry for what you are going through. It all is so crazy, but I think you are probably at that point of diminishing returns. And I know you know this, but it is ultimately up to you to determine how much more of this you can take.

I waited it out until H took action in Feb., but there were times in the 9 months of waiting that I was so unsure of how much more I could take. Had it gone on much longer I probably would have started the D process myself, but I didn't want to be the one to do his dirty work for him. (He's the one who wants to divorce.)

When I read about your husband's attitude, my first instinct is to tell you to file. He's not finished with the OW - - and who wants to be second in line. Not you! My H has one too . . sometimes I feel so demoralized that he can't have the respect and the decency to keep his pants on until he clears things up with me. Plus she has kids, girls who are of an impressionable age - what is she teaching them? They've probably been lied to by each of them saying he's already divorced, but I speculate and digress.

Anyway, back to you. You are worthy of so much more respect than what he is giving you. I don't care about whether it's MLC or not that drives his actions. You are a good and decent person who should be shown respect, and respect yourself. And I have a hard time thinking that your employees would believe the garbage that's coming out of his mouth about you leaving . . . they know. They're like your kids . . . kids have built in BS detectors when it comes to their parents.Deep down they know what the truth is..

I think you will find going to the attorney will give you a sense of empowerment and ease of mind because you will find out what you can and can't do - what your rights are and what you have a right to. And you'll probably find out what you could expect from him. Like it is always said here, knowledge is power. I experienced that last week when I sought legal consultation. I felt sooooo much better when I came out of the attorney's office. I know I'm not guaranteed anything, but at least I know what I can ask for and bargain with (we're seeing a mediator).

Hang in there, my friend. It just sounds to me like you would be better off without him right now - and divorce is never final. Ya, I know . . . we can't predict the future, but all we have is the here and now so make it the best for YOU!!! He's having fun . . . or so he thinks....

I'll check in on you later tonight. Love and Hugs ((())))- J