Here is a brand new one from last night... I stayed home sick Monday. On Monday night h insisted I was fine and there was no reason to stay in bed I should just sit with s. (H then went into his own room to lay down and watch tv)
Long story short we are in ER last night because S is sick and doc is being overly precautious because of some underlying medical conditions.
H says. ..
"This is all your fault because you were around him when you were sick. "
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
I was talking to my H about friends of ours that were experiencing M problems. The H has a drinking/drug problem and relasped. The W wanted him to get help or said she will leave because she wants to protect herself and kids. My H says "That is the problem with marriages and relationships. People give ultimatums and if they don't get their way they just walk out on the marriage. I hate ultimatums and think the W is wrong.". This coming from a guy who had an affair, walked out in his family and says that he just does not care to try. Heck, I did not even get an ultimatum from him.
W one day asks to borrow my car to go out with her friends. She says she's going out to a 9:00 pm movie but comes back at around 2:00am. I was up all night worrying about her and the families only car. When she came in, and I inquired into why she was late and how I was worried, she says...
"Why do I have to tell you?!"
Ummmm because I lent you my car and that would be respectful? maybe?
Me 43 W 43 S 10 (Special Needs) M: 14 yrs T: 18 yrs Bomb: 09/16/12 Filed for D: WHO KNOWS???
When my W first told me she didn't want to try any more and told me if she did try she would be faking it I became emotional. Her reply, "stop, stop, get control of yourself, I cant handle you being emotional, I cant take it." What was I supposed to do, act like I won a million dollars?
"Don't make me question my feelings about us again."
"Im just going to worry about myself, my close friends, and family - no one else."
"I'm not trying to hurt you but I know I am."
Or her telling me she tried to fix things, I gave you a chance and you ruined it.
I wish I could get over all this but it just makes me more frustrated and sad.
___________________________________________________________ M: 32 W: 26 M 7 months, T 4 years M: 2nd M W: 1st M No kids
living separately 1/26/14 W files D 2/24/14 D final 4/28/14
I worked so hard at [volunteer school activity] last fall, I'm lucky I didn't end up in the funny farm!
I'm biting my tongue HARD, thinking - yes it only led to ignoring your family, shutting out your H, an EA then a PA, now there are two family's marriages on the line, your kid's financial and emotional future, you're on sleeping pills and anti-depressants... But we sure are LUCKY you didn't end up in the funny farm!
Me: we've been in therapy for 6 months, why do you not want to do the exercises and take the advice? We've had 2 therapists together and 2 on your own. They all say the same thing. ExW: because the advice is stupid. Me: but you're the one that wanted therapy and a psychologist to do it. You begged me to try it. ExW: ya for you. I don't believe in the psychobabble. I only want to continue if we do things my way. I can handle it. I don't want someone telling me how to handle trust and the A. Me: these are recommendations from some of the best and most experienced in this field and you chose 3 of them. ExW: because I thought they could help you. Me: my trouble is trust with you. You had an affair ExW: so what? I did what I wanted. It was a mistake. You must trust me and get over it and let me be private if you want this to work. Shows how much of an a$$hole you are if you dont trust me. The only way this will work is no more counselling. Me: all four therapists and these books all say you need to be an open book or it will be a disaster. ExW: all psycobabble! So we will do things my way right? Me: No
Wife exits stage left in rage.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
