If I were in your shoes, I couldn't call 911 just because he is high. What is the goal here? Facilitating Smokey's R with D, right?
I remember Ellie saying as long as the kids are not in danger, then you cannot tell your spouse what he/she can do or necessarily have to like their parenting style.
Would you take that chance with your most precious treasure? And, how can I face her and say that I may have allowed her to be in a dangerous situation just because it was what HE wanted. How is that ok?
This may be a moot point. I gently told D11 that her dad really wants to take her to lunch. She said I will tell him that I don't want to go. I told her she needs to be polite however she chooses to handle it.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I hate to say this, but I think you spurred him on when you sent him the text earlier this week about what you would like in the way of child and spousal support.
Unfortunately, the way he's viewing things is that you are more than willing to tell him what you would like to receive in the way of support money, but yet, you are also telling him what he can or can't do w/his child when he comes to visit. He's tired of an eleven year old child telling him not to come or she doesn't want to see him...but he's paying child support and feels entitled to see her whether she likes it or not.
Unfortunately, it's not going to get any better and that's why it's important that you get something put in place legally as soon as possible.
No matter how you slice it, it's going to be a tough day for your daughter tomorrow. Please try to remain calm and civil. How you deal w/him in her presence will be important.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You say that Smokey has always been high. I wonder if Smokey has driven the children all those years while they were growing up? If yes, then now does this change things all of sudden? Just because you're mad at him for throwing baseless barbs at you?
No matter how you slice it, it's going to be a tough day for your daughter tomorrow. Please try to remain calm and civil. How you deal w/him in her presence will be important.
Read and read and read this over and over tonight right up to the moment Smokey pulls up the driveway. You need all of your wits about you when he walks up the door.
Smokey didn't drive the children. I protected them. I made sure I took them wherever and he was only too happy to accommodate.
Yes, I spurred him on. I see it. I wanted to get all this sh!t done and legalized and, because of money, it felt like the only way to reach that goal was to use his dad.
Dammit. I see how and where it started. It started because I was tired of being sick and tired over his support money. And, how much you wanna bet he won't give me any tomorrow. He is a scared little boy and I keep expecting him to act like a man.
I WILL be calm and civil. I will be an example to my daughter tomorrow. I promise and I'm not falling apart tonight. In fact, I just helped the girls set up the living room for a Hunger Games Movie-thon.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
How I react or don't react, plays a big part in all of this. I get it. Now, I have to practice it. Worse case scenario, it's lunch and it's just lunch. Lunch.
It's funny, I told her this morning when we were talking about it...I told her how SHE is the stronger one right now in terms of feelings. I told her how her dad doesn't mean to, but he's not able to handle a lot of stuff right now. I told her that I don't worry about her a bit when she is with him because she is so tough.
She got this cute smile with this because her sister is always accusing her of being weak because of her shyness with the Asperger's and everything. Anyway, I told her how I thought she was super tough but she needed to reign it in with her dad because he is pretty fragile right now. She doesn't have to baby him, but she needed to be careful of his feelings. And, she is tough enough to handle him and be nice at the same time. She agreed.
We shall see tomorrow.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
