I have very much the same experience as you. All conversation with kids is as normal, though. I hate that your wife talks to you through the kids.
I make it a point to say good morning when she comes down. I make it a point to say hello and ask her how her day was when I arrive home from work. It may or may not lead to a short discussion, usually not much. But I do it as a 180 because complained that I wasn't interested in what/how she was doing. She also once said that while she would phone me at work in the middle of the day to see how I was, I would never initiate that call. And I make it a point to say good night, if she isn't already asleep. If we happen to be watching TV together (rare, since she is usually in hiding) then I will make comments about the show to try to draw her in. I just want her to know that she can talk to me without pressure, but she usually isn't interested. She talks to her friends throughout the day, so she largely gets that need satisfied. It would appear that she is working hard to prove to herself that she really doesn't need me for anything.
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I am keeping a good attitude, doing my chores, having good times with the kids and helping around the house all I can (which are things I enjoy doing) and seems communication is all I am lacking.
Same here, and I don't know that there's anything to be done but be patient. But it makes it really difficult to 180 infrequent communication when someone doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
