I suggested the idea of the cell phone to her couple of weeks ago but she shut it down. She told me to cancel her line from my account. She also said she will give me her new number so I can talk to my daughter. I know she's getting advice and guildiance from her family, friends and OM regarding our issues. I don't need to contact my daughter on a line she primarily got for OM. My daughter is almost at the age to have a cell phone, maybe for her nanny to use when they out or whatever. I need the line to be active to talk to my daughter.
Really great advise above from mrbond and Lostforwords and from 25 a few pages back, read those posts carefully, several times! You are far too focused on your W right now (gosh, how many times have we said that to you, is it ever going to sink in?), you're spinning. You're in the front car of the roller coaster looking terrified and holding the bar with the grip-of-death. Relax! This is a marathon.
When we say give your W time and space, we don't mean act like that's what you're doing around her and then fret about her every other second of the day. Because guess what, as confused as WAS's are they are MASTERS of reading the LBS and she will see right through your act. If you spend 99% of your posts recounting everything your W says and does, then YOU ARE NOT GROWING. You have to grow and change FIRST, only THEN will you maybe see your W thaw a little.
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I suggested the idea of the cell phone to her couple of weeks ago but she shut it down.
How old is your D?
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She also said she will give me her new number so I can talk to my daughter.
Problem solved!
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I know she's getting advice and guildiance from her family, friends and OM regarding our issues.
And for what reason does that matter?
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I don't need to contact my daughter on a line she primarily got for OM.
Don't be silly. A phone is nothing more than a communication device.
My daughter is almost 4yrs old. I made some mistake but ready to change course now. My new beginning started yesterday and definitely sticking to it. My focus now is I and my daughter. Thank you guys for your support and understanding.
Sometimes the easiest solution to a problem is circumventing the obstacle.
The goal is talking with your daughter regularly as you can't see her weekly.
The obstacle is that you have to currently call through your wife.
Circumventing talking with your wife is getting your daughter her own phone...that you pay for. It is your daughters phone, not your wife's. It is pushing it a little bit, but I think a 4 year old may be able to make sure it stays charged.
You can do the phone without your wife's permission. This is between you and your daughter. If your wife takes the phone away, doesn't allow it to be answer, etc....You make a log of when this happens with dates and times. Your wife, her family, the OM do not have the right to limit your contact with your daughter. Now you can't force them to let her answer the phone or stop them from interceding into the situation, but when they do...You make a log entry. Every time.
Take as much control of your interactions with your daughter as possible my man.
Keep your eyes on the now. Your not alone. What helps me is focusing on todays next step, the immediate next step. Not planning, but what you do for you, right now.
Me:36 Her:35 together 11yrs M 7 1/2yrs lived together 10yrs 2dogs 2cats Mortgage on a house
bomb dropped 01/12/14 Separate bedrooms/W stays here some nights I want to stay married
Thanks man. I'm doing just that. I had a great weekend. I spent some time with my brother and his wife on Saturday, took care of the bills, went to Mardi grass Saturday evening and wine tasting on Sunday. I just got home 10mins ago. I feel better and looking forward to the future. I called to speak to my daughter this morning but was not able to talk to her till 8:30pm tonight. I was not upset or made multiple calls to talk to her. I spent my time wisely taking care of me. I'm thankful to God and everybody on this forum for getting me here. I'm no longer thinking about her or what she's doing.
Thank you so much lostforwards! I'm doing great. I had a small wreck this morning with only minor injury. A older gentleman run into my car. I did not call w or give the paramedics her contact information. I figure she'll think I need attention by doing that, so instead I called my brother and gave the EMT his information. I feel great man. I'm busy enjoying my life and taking care of me. Life is to short not to do that. I finally accept that my marriage is over for now or for ever for that matter. I only have control of me and nothing more. So why complicate things when I can clearly see that I'm irrelevant to her for now. Only God knows what the future holds for me/us. Once again thanks for everything.
I'm home after couple of hrs at the hospital. A little tired and sad because I couldn't speak to my daughter on a rough day like this. I miss my family, most especially my beautiful daughter. No one should be alone on a day like this. I'm spending the rest of the evening catching up on some reading. I'm also going back to my nightly prayer. My prayer tonight goes out to everyone going through disappointment, divorce, pain and headache. I called unto heaven to give you the strength to accept your situation and be at peace with whatever the outcome, good or bad. IJN.
I need to share this with you guys. Very funny but sad at the same time. My private investigator just sent me some stuff OM wrote on his Facebook page. "where're all the hoes in DC? I've a married woman madly in love with me and treating her husband like trash all because of yours truly lol" some of the comment and respond was mind blowing! Some of his friend called him devil and home wrecker. He liked it and said "she bring the ass to me and I took it. Wow! I don't want this arrogant, immature scumbag around my daughter.
