LFC, first regarding your son, ALL kids go through pain and suffering, your son isn't unique. I see this attitude around here (not from you, just speaking in general) that if only the WAS hadn't done this, the kids would be living perfectly happy lives. If people really think that then they are completely out of touch with the struggles their kids are going through. I remember when I was a kid people would say to me "enjoy it, this is the best time of your life!" I would think "are you kidding? It only gets WORSE from here??" Growing up is tough and it hurts. Anyway, whatever you do, don't blame your W or reflect that to your S in any way. Figure out how you and your W as a TEAM can help him through this. You have to look at your sitch as coparents rather than husband/ wife.
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If u are not to believe 100% of the WAS says and 50% of what you see then how can u discern if you are actually making progress or not? Does it only relate to positive/negative attitudes?
For ex: I had a couple of short term goals, both were met.
1) I wanted her to come out and watch a movie with me. She's done this. 2) I wanted her to come out and play one of her favorite video games. She's done this.
I understand the concept laid out in DR of "baby steps", but unfortunately they don't always mean things are getting better. I could give you a list of a thousand baby steps I saw from W, and yet here I am about 2 weeks from the D being finalized. So don't read too much into the baby steps. In DR it says to celebrate them internally while continuing for DB'ing externally, I think that's the best approach.
