It's just strange that during the separation (we exchanged nights at other friends houses so as not to disrupt the kids much) we spent much time together...like she didn't want me around (needed some space line) but didn't want me too far away either. She "says" she is working on the M through her IC but what she "does" (has books on "good divorce" and "mom's house, dad's house") are opposite.
We talk- communicating better than in years- but there are those unspoken secrets. My IC thinks I need to force some conflict, but everything I've read on here re: Sandi's rules, etc. have been what I've been following more. I don't want to fear her reaction from asking about the divorce books, but the truth is, I do a bit. I don't want to pressure her, but I feel that if the A is still going those feelings for OM are getting entrenched despite my 180s. Just two days ago she said, "you are a new man." I guess she still needs more time to believe. It's mind-reading, I know.
We are skiing with her family this weekend, went with just our boys last weekend, but despite me "becoming the husband I've always wanted, why can't I be happy?" It is a roller coaster.
