own buz 23:mediation to reconcilliation, PATIENCE!

[adinva]

Here's a thought, well, a couple of thoughts. Losing the fear is THE FIRST thing that needs to happen in DB, and all the advice all along, to focus on you, has been to get you to stop treating this like a game of strategy where you do the right things and H then becomes exactly what you wanted and you go off into the sunset together. No one has been successful in helping you see things that way, and that is why you still have this fear of losing him, this investment in the outcome, and this irritating dependence on strategy and what thing to do to get what you want. I don't know how to get you to lose that fear, because the closer you get to thinking you're reconciling, the less willing you are to really DB.

My second thought is, you're in piecing when your SO is taking concrete actions toward piecing your relationship back together. You're not in piecing and your sitch has not changed. New noncommittal words unbacked by actions are not any different from the old noncommittal words unbacked by actions. Let go of the microscope that keeps you thinking radical changes have occurred when you get an invitation to drink coffee or some other tiny event.

Do you have any of the business in your name yet? That is what I would focus on if I were you. That needs to be done.