Wishing You Were Here and then Setting It On Fire

[ericmsant2]

Sorry for the late response…I’ve been dealing with my D12’s issues at school.

In fact, you are right because don't we all hold our own keys

Yes we DO! Sometimes I wonder why it takes us so long to realize just how much control we have over our life and our choices.

I am still on the hampster wheel and the only way that I feel I can get off of the wheel is to be done.

I FEEL…

Hmmm…I feel a lot of things…and a lot of times my FEELINGS changes. Get what I am trying to say?

But do you believe that a person can "choose" to be done? Like choosing carrots instead of peas?

I think a person can CHOOSE to reframe how you look at things…

I think a person can CHOOSE to embrace how they feel but also ACCEPT that the feeling will pass

I think a person can CHOOSE how to REACT to a FEELING.

I think a person can CHOOSE how to think and react to EXPECTATIONS.

but actively choose to be emotionally done?

IMO, you have created an EXPECTATION of what being done feels like. An EXPECTATION that may or may not happen – so YOU feel stuck. Stop it. Just live YOUR life. Day by Day. Just be happy for each day. Thoughts of Skippy are not going to disappear forever and nor should they. Get what I am sayin?

Accept that this is life right now and he is not in it and that I need to focus on the people and things that are in my life and focus on me

BINGO! (insert picture of Eric clapping while cheering…you go Portia…you go girl!)

There is a lot of work to do on me, so really, that should take up quite a bit of time!

Personally, I think the work never stops. I am a project manager by trade, so I am going throw a term out….. “concurrently”

You can work on YOU AND still have fun, live and enjoy life – ACCEPT that YOU cannot fix everything about yourself overnight….and truth be told …imo, some things YOU cannot “fix” per se. For example: I have abandonment issues as result of my childhood. I cannot “fix” them per se..but I can learn to deal with them better. I can learn to understand what triggers them and why.

Clinical depression is challenging to deal with (If you have been reading Tad's thread, he displays the classic symptoms) because no matter how much you tell yourself to snap out of it, it just does not work that way. But, yes, I am being treated although I have not so far gone to counselling.

PORTIA, maybe you should consider talking to someone. It does not have to be a counselor per se. It could be anyone…a priest..pastor…rabbi..


Have a great weekend. I am driving to VA today! Yippee!