New to This - An English Man In Trouble

[Hadlee58]

Just Journalling:
The last few days have been pretty good in a round of about way, after our blow out on Sunday night things have settled down. Last night my W mentioned that things are moving along pretty quickly and she hope to be out in the next two weeks. She asked if i still expected her to pay towards our mortgage and i told her that no it was fine and i would be paying for it and when we decide to sell (i will more than likely buy her out) that whatever we get for it we will split the balance, she had indicated previously that she was seeking professional advice on this as if she stopped paying towards it now she wouldnt be entitled to any money that the house may increase in value. I told her that in my mind what ever its value we will just split and i wouldnt be pulling any fast ones.
On her ideas of splitting the kids 50/50 i produced a spreadsheet showing how i thought it would work out based on our discussions and again she was happy i had done this. I also said i thought it was a good idea to put together some 'words' on the PC about times/holidays/what we both expect and agree on this and then sign it together. I know this wont be legally binding in any way but if we can remain positive and do whats right for the kids at all times it would help, i am sure this will need to be done properly down the line but it might be a good starting point.
She also mentioned furnishings for her new pad and how her parents are giving her some bits, i did tell her that half of our possessions are hers and she is entitled to take them with her whether now or later and we can agree together how we split this up - she didnt seem too bothered on this although i am keen for her to take what is rightly hers, living with just basic things could be her way of letting people see how she is the one suffering whilst i am still in our home with all the mod cons. Not much i can do about that so i am not letting it worry me other than i want to know my kids are comfortable wherever they are staying.
I also brought up about the pick ups and drop offs and she seems to have softened on her earlier stance which is a good sign.
I have no doubt we will have some major disagreements in time over things but i am hopeful that as long as we agree whats best for the children we will be able to amicably sort through them - probably easier said than done.
Its funny when i look around our house now i am not even sure if i want to stay in it long term, this was our dream home where we wanted to bring up our family together, it seems now with this slipping away maybe it will just be a constant reminder to me.
Planning a great weekend, my son is 8 tomorrow and we have a big day planned for him, it will be great fun! We are also taking him and 5 of his buddies to the cinema to see the 'lego movie' on Sunday which should be interesting, 6 8yr olds should prove an intersting day
I am trying my best to keep my PMA up, i know i am still living in a dream world hoping for an 11th hour reprieve and the fog just lifting. The reality is this isnt going to happen, i know that, and am preparing myself for us telling the kids next weekend. It will be what it will be there has been many dark moments these last 9 months and i still survived

Thanks you all H