I'm entitled to half the number of years we were married, which would be about 10 years, and the amount I'm entitled to is...zero dollars. It's a calculation based on income. It doesn't seem fair to me but I could try to negotiate something with him, knowing that he wouldn't have to agree and if it went to court the judge would more likely side with him. This is based on what both lawyers have seen agreed to by judges in my county. My H says that he subsidized me during our marriage, so I don't believe he feels he owes me any favors.
My H also believes that child support is the beginning and end of his requirement to the kids. It should cover his portion of lacrosse equipment and summer camp and anything I think the kids need. So when he buys a kid a sweatshirt or pays a doctor bill, he is going above and beyond, in his book.
Virginia is a no-fault state, so it wouldn't make any difference if he were blatantly having an affair and abandoned his family, but he did not do that. He said we had irreconcilable differences, he stuck around for 18 months, and he moved out when I asked him to. He's been gone more than a year so there are adequate grounds for divorce now.
He believes I'm willfully underemployed and have been for the 15 years I've been working part time.
I don't think these are inadequate lawyers I'm talking to, although if someone wants to give me a referral I'll talk to another.
I think our sitch is pretty cut and dried and should not go to court. My neighbor had to go to court for her divorce and had to borrow $20K from her mom, and is now in debt. I don't want to go into debt.
I'm going to a $250 initial consultation with the new lawyer next week. Since she gave me a lot of info on the phone already I want to tighten up my objectives to get the most out of the hour I have to pay for.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
